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Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will take you to
museums, and parks, and monuments,
and kiss you in every beautiful
place, so that you can
never go back to them
without tasting me
like blood in your mouth.
I will destroy you in the most
beautiful way possible.
And when I leave
you will finally understand,
why storms are named after people.
Paraphrased and mixed from Katrina, M.K., and Unknown (via queenbtchfromhell)

(Source: babylonian-ink)

It finally happened. It was only a matter of time, really.

  • I work at a UPS package facility. I work hard, I load an average of 1,000 boxes every night, and there is no air conditioning. I wear shorts, a tank top, and a sports bra, sometimes even in the middle of winter because it is fucking HOT in there.

  • This is what happened.

  • Me:

    *sittin' on break, enjoyin' music and eatin' candy*

  • Darius:

    Hey, um...

  • Me:

    Hm? *pops out earbud* What's up?

  • Darius:

    Your, ah...

  • Me:

    (At this point I know exactly what he means, but I want him to actually say it, so I stare blankly like I don't get it.)

  • Darius:

    Your, uh. Your thing. *waves hand in a line over shoulder*

  • Me:

    *mimicking motion* Myyy...what?

  • Darius:

    Your bra strap. It's kinda...hangin' out there.

  • Me:

    ...Have you never seen one before?

  • Darius:


  • Me:

    *snickering* This just in, Darius found out women wear bras, details at ten.

  • Darius:

    That's not what I-- Look, I have seen bras, okay? They're distractin'.

  • Me:


  • Darius:


  • Me:

    As in, you can't concentrate if you see a bra.

  • Darius:

    Yeah, s'what I said.

  • Me:

    You realize it's a piece of cloth, right?

  • Darius:

    Yeah, but--

  • Me:

    But what, you have a polyester fetish? Is there something you'd like to share with the whole class, now that everyone in the break room is watchin' us?

  • Darius:

    Man, forget it. *leaves*

  • Me:

    S'what I thought.



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